I would not blame myself for it. It’s the times and the way things are being picked out nowadays. My last post ‘Who Cares’ was misconstrued by majority. I wasn’t whining about the receding readership by itself. I was talking more on how the essence of reviews on movies, music and books (or whatever) has been flattened by the likes of few micro-blogging sites. That’s it.

Coming to that, it really amazes me how desperate are these celebrities and how more desperate are commoners to chase them and read about their equally desperate, cooked up-hunky dory tales. I was one of them. For a week. Followed 6-7 of them and removed when nothing substantial was in offing. Better sense prevailed and I am out.

Heard Aamir Khan is joining on 1st July. He would surely be keeping an eye on Sachin and SRK. After all he is Mr. Perfectionist. Doesn’t want anything in a smaller amount. Sorry, but can’t forget him for feeding me bull craps like Ghajini and 3 Idiots. Behati Hawa Sa my foot.

Reminds me of how our Hindi Film Industry is crammed with such deception and pretense. Mr. Perfectionist got in a spat over ‘who-makes-song-famous’ with Javed Akhtar. I totally laughed when he raised the point it’s the Hero (or Heroine) in the song. It’s not even arguable. Someone said who knew Rahul Roy and Anu Agarwal, yet songs of Aashiqui were like anthem in early 90s. Point. Javed reiterated "No one knew you Mr. Khan, You got famous with Papa Kehate Hain and not other way". Well said. Khan walked off. Good for him. Shall I go into works of certain Mr. Rehman and present my case.

He is the biggest manipulator of all. Why? Because he is big? Because every Christmas is a tomfooling-money making period of the year for him? How can anyone forget the ‘Fanna’ release fiasco in Gujarat? Wasn’t he present everywhere out crying democracy-democracy? Where the hell was he when Anurag Kashyap’s ‘Black Friday’ was banned and not released in theater? Hrithik too mouthed the democracy shenanigans that time, but where were they when Rahul Dholakia’s ‘Parzania’ was banned (again in Gujarat)? Does democracy hold good only for these powerful, money-spinning people?

Hrithik in an interview used the old Bollywood trick of holding someone else responsible for the debacle of their product. According to him Kites was way ahead for Indian audiences. Whoa? Hello? Even if I agree to your point; didn’t you father-son duo make two versions? One specifically for Indians and other for Firangs? So, going by that you knew what would cater to us? Well, sorry Roshans, you suck.

Who the hell are these people who can decide for us what would suit or cater to us? It is blasphemy to start with. I remember how he spoke of Barbara Mori being the chosen one out of 70 or 80 odd females auditioned and how he was awe-struck when he saw her pictures. Can I tell him how blind he is? Ms. Mori doesn’t look a bit sexy from any angle. Our TV Actresses would fare better in sexiness. Why Barbara? Doesn’t his wife look like a malnourished mule from certain angles? So shall I blame his senses for that? So who are they to blame our sense of judging a film? This is not 90s Roshan. Wake Up.

Continuing the blame is the patriarch of the so-referred First Family of industry. Big B himself. He blamed the editor for poor portrayal of Abhishek. What was he thinking? We all know his son is Nalayak, Nikamma. Barring Couple of roles in decade old career, he has not achieved much. So, why blame editor? Big B is known for his even bigger mouth and for retracting words now and then through his infamous blog. But this was not needed. Not at all. How many times have we seen Dharmendra holding anyone responsible for the failure of his children and he has lot of failures at home. That is class. Did Hema Malini or Rajesh Khanna or Vinod Khanna or Shatrughan Sinha ever choiced to such stuff? And they are equally big like Big B. The whole family is one big nautanki.

What next Big B? Blaming climate for Bahurani’s poor dress at next Cannes?

Prior to Gulaal, if debate over any movie ever heated-up, I appeased the situation by saying, “Chill, it’s just a movie.” I did it for Slumdog and Dev.D. However, I will not do the same for Gulaal. It’s not just a movie for me. Gulaal is what India is currently. Gulaal is what we all are. We all are somehow part of this system. Gulaal has taken Indian cinema many notches higher and Anurag has established himself as a farsighted filmmaker.

There can be many disclaimers for Gulaal. Do not watch it with Anurag-DevD impinged on your mind; watch it with intact brain. The older the wine, the better it tastes. And so it is with Gulaal that was in making for 7 years since 2001.Censor ate it the way they did Anurag’s debut Paanch that never got released. Gulaal, in Anurag’s own words, is his angriest film.

Plot: The opening sequence of Gulal has Dukey Bana, an aspirant of ‘Rajputana’ (separate state for Rajputs of Rajasthan) addressing a huge gathering where everyone has their faces smeared with red Gulaal. His impassioned words supposedly leave a mark on all attendants except one man.

Flashback

Dileep Singh, a 28-year-old bespectacled, oil-combed hair, docile young man accompanied with his caretaker Bhanwar Singh comes to Rajpur to study law. His roommate Rananjay is stark opposite. Called ‘Ransa’, Rananjay lives a lavish life of self-indulgence in wine, women and weed. Ransa, who is son of His-Highness, has defied his father, wealth and has a vision of his own. Ransa readily takes Dileep under his fold and tags him along.

Dileep is ragged and thrown naked in a dark room where young lady teacher Anuja (Jesse Randhawa) was already ragged and thrown in. Ransa gets furious at this and instills courage in Dileep and together they go to take revenge. They both fall prey. Bhaati, the right-hand of Dukey Bana approaches the duo and takes them to Dukey Bana for help. Dukey asks Ransa to contest the college elections for the post of General Secretary. But fate had something else written.

Enter bastard duo of brother-sister (Karan-Kiran). They are illegitimate children of His Highness and Ransa is their half-brother. Kiran is Ransa’s competitor for GS post. Karan kidnaps Ransa, kills him and hangs him at the chauraha. Dukey now makes Dileep stand-in for election against Kiran. Dileep wins the election, aided by Dukey’s maneuvers.

Dileep is then enticed by Kiran who asks him for the post of Cultural Secretary. Their affair changes the lives of each and every character where people get killed, dumped and the bastards survive.

Characters:

Dileep (Raj Singh Choudhary, also co-writer of the film) is a soft-spoken and humble Rajput. His passive behavior is often made fun of; ‘Kaye ka Rajput be’. Teetotaler Dileep, who when refuses the drink offered by his room-mate Ransa (‘Legaa?’), is snapped with ‘Toh kya meri Legaa’.

Kiran, comes to him after he wins; and allures him into an affair with her charm. Soon she is seen looking straight into him with passion-filled eyes after an adoring sex. The innocent boy he was, he takes it to be true love. He goes onto a killing spree when confronted with the fact that she was just using him. Is he a loser? I do not see him as a loser. What was his mistake? He had just come to study. He acknowledges that he is ‘Darpok’ and ‘Fattoo’. Was he a loser for believing in love? Who would not? She blames him for making her pregnant. And this after she clearly tells him in beginning she doesn’t ever want to. Then what the hell she was thinking? Is only a man to be blamed?

Ransa (Abhimanyu Singh), a Rajput by blood and legacy, Ransa has everything but he defies everything and lives life at his own terms. Most honest and the blunt of lot. He is man with several questions. Just as a common man who has questions that never get answered in our country. He might not be a puritan but he is not a hypocrite either. He gets the best lines. When his bastard half-brother kidnaps him and asks him to withdraw from the election, he retorts, “Agar tere baap ne sahi time pe withdraw kar liya hota toh tu najayaz nahi hota”. He is rough but he is sensitive enough to take on anyone who insults his gentle room-mate. A His-Highness in making, he has no qualms in throwing everything and rebelling against the corruption. He is a man of his words and action.

Dukey Bana (Kay Kay Menon) is a rebel who hopes for a separate state for Rajputs. Kay Kay in one of his most restrained act ignites the whole movie. He is unethical and his stand is not much justifiable. Yet his blood-boiling performance as impulsive Rajput scripts his finest performance ever. We have many fanatics like him who are hell bent on a separate state for whimsical reasons they themselves make up.

Rest of the cast can be termed more than the supporting; Deepak Dobriyal (Bhaati) who won critical acclaim for his Omkara act comes with another stellar performance. He is not just another right hand to Dukey Bana. He has his own ways with him, ridicules him when at fault. He conveys more through his body than the words. The scene at the paanwaala, where Bhati just nods his head, raises eyebrows, makes other facial expressions to answer questions while chewing paan. A restrained yet powerful performance without uttering a single word.

Karan (Aditya Srivastava) manipulates everyone (including his own sister Kiran). He is ruthless beyond thoughts and has just one purpose; to become the senapati, which will automatically get him the surname of His Highness.

Prithvi Bana (Piyush Mishra) is foreign studied, Lennon-Bhakt elder brother of Dukey Bana and has an escort (Ardh-Nari). The duo leaves no chance to make fun of the happenings around including Dukey’s irrational demand of Rajputana. Piyush excels in all the four roles (Actor, Lyricist, Composer and Singer) with his soulful lyrics and mind-fuck compositions.

The Ladies: Anuja (Jesse Randhwa) who we all knew as a Bikini Model is the real surprise. Anuja leaves an impact while playing the role of a teacher who gets ragged by the students, though she doesn’t have much dialogue. Her close-ups with grim-stricken eyes camouflaged with the cigarette smoke tell us more than the few words she spoke throughout. Madhuri (Mahie Gill) whose actual debut is Gulaal (and not Dev.D) is a patakha. On one hand, her thoomkas will make you mad and on the other, you feel sorry for her portrayal as a dejected lover (of Dukey Bana). Mahie has a striking resemblance to Tabu and same is emphasized quite repeatedly. Kiran (Ayesha Mohan), a bastard-turned-bitch is director’s delight. How well a man can be fooled by a woman’s innocent face has never been shown better. She jumps from one man to other to get her work done; hardly realizing her own brother was using her. The last scene, where Karan takes over as Senapati, has Kiran standing in the army below with silent tears rolling down her cheek. Even that doesn’t fill my heart with any sympathy for her.

Amidst all this is Mishra’s compelling lyrics and affecting music. From an anthem like ‘Aarambh’ to political ‘Ranaji’, Mishra creates a setting parallel to the plot.
Sample these:

“Jis kavi ki kalpana mein
Zindagi ho prem geet
Us kavi ko aaj tum nakaar do”


“Sunsaan gali ke nukkad par jo koi kutta cheeckh cheekh kar rota hai
Jab lamp post ki gandli peeli ghupp roshni mein kuch kuch sa hota hai
Jab koi saaya khud ko thoda bacha bachakar ghum saayon mein khota hai
Jab pul ke khambo ko gaadi ka garam ujaala dheeme dheeme dhota hai
Tab sheher hamaara sota hai”


"Surmayi aankhon ke pyaalon ki duniya
Satrangi rangon gulaalon ki duniya..o duniya
Alsaayi sezon ke phoolon ki duniya
Angdaai tode kabootar ki duniya
Karwat le soyi haqueeqat ki duniya
Deewaani hoti tabeeyat ki duniya
Khwahish mein lipti zaroorat ki duniya
Insaan ke sapno ki neeyat ki duniya..O Duniya
Ye duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya hai"


Anurag says this is his best piece. On the other hand, I feel his movies are exceptional and each one is a cinema par excellence. The year so far has been a delight for cine-maniacs and the craving has just started. Bring them on. Next such could be Vishal's KAMINEY.

This is almost a review. Definitely not elaborate and spoiler-full like my earlier ones but a quick one as I do not have much time on hand.

Rakeysh ‘RDB’ Om Prakash Mehra. What an ensemble cast. Delhi. Chandni Chowk. Mysterious script. Sonam Kapoor (Oooohh). A.R. Rehman. 20th Feb. First Day First Show. Intermission. Bantadhaar. End. Sab Satyanaash.

ROPM is back to (aks)quare one. IMDB says Genre is Comedy/Drama. They couldn’t have said it better. It’s a comedy. Almost whole junta was laughing by the end. The last time was when Junta hooted for poor Drona, his ghodi, his dushman (KayKay), his angrakshak (Priyanka). Trust me, even CC2C was saved of hooting. Probably no one was expecting anything out of it unlike D-6.

Not going deep inside the story and plot because till end I could not find a single rational storyline, not even parallel one, not eve an askew one. NRI returns to Chandni Chowk from Amrika with his ailing grand-ma (her last wish). The boy definitely like any firang desi is amused at everything. The traffic jams, cows giving birth in middle of the road, padosi behaving, interfering and yak-yakking like family members, the narrow lanes adorned with gazillion shops. Almost everything. His NRI mind is looking for an identity in the chaotic assembly. He is confused soul. So much so that by the middle of the movie he imagines one whole song where Amrika and Delhi are mixed. Watch it to believe how grossly that was shot.

The infamous ‘Monkey-Man’ that created a menace in Delhi few years back is the central character. Others are just supporting cast. Great performers but sadly irritating after some point of time. There are so many characters that director is busy introducing them right till the end. Zoya recently showed truck loads of them but you can identify them and remember them in LBC. In this case, you get assaulted. There is nothing that you carry when you walk out. Music? Yes, to an extent. The music no doubt is outstanding one, this truth is already established. But, the songs are placed so absurdly you almost feel sorry for A.R. Rehman. ‘Rehna tu’ in particular (which is a soft romantic number) will disappoint you the most.

ROPM tried to preach us the lesson of unity in diversity but he failed. Abhishek and Sonam’s much talked of chemistry is invisible. Bilkul thanda, barf jaisa. It is sad to watch artists like Sheeba, Supriya, Om Puri, Pavan Malhotra, Rishi Kapoor being wasted. Mass assassination. And the preaching that every human has monkey inside along with the god doesn’t go down well. I did not feel for any character or situation. Waheeda’s stubbornness of not returning to Amrika gets a jolt when her grand-son yells at her and she gets teary-eyed. I did not feel sympathetic towards her. Abhishek gets shot. I did not care whether he lives or die. Sonam who looks gorgeous in any outfit is totally wasted. She gets to howl again like Saawariya in the end and this time it’s for real yet I did not feel anything for her. Few scenes here and there brings in some moments but then that’s long forgotten by the time you try to finally listen to Mr. Director and look for monkey inside you. But it’s too late by then and the show is over.

I have nothing more to add to this. I will probably discuss or say more if someone writes a review. This was just ‘almost-a-review.’ I give Delhi-6 1.5/5.

I am done with my nom de plume ‘Oxy’ and back with my actual one, ‘Vee.’ Those who wish to call me Oxy are welcome to do so. However, I prefer Vee.

Btw, Baba Sehgal is back to what he does best. ‘Oh, Sexy Mama’ a hip hop number by him for Madhavan starred ‘13B’ is my current fav. Listen to it. Awesome. Sushmita’s ‘Karma Aur Holi’ is ready for release. Click her to watch the song ‘Holi Aayee’. And click here for Gulaal's Rana Ji song. Funny lyrics. “Jaise Durr Desh Me Tower Me Ghuss Jaye Re Aero Plane, Jaise Har Ek Baat Pe Democracy Mein Lagne Lag Gayo Ban, Jaise Sare-Aam Iraq Me Jaake Jam Gaye Uncle Sam, Jaise Bina Baat Afghansistan Ka Baj Gaya Bhaiya Band." Haha.. too good.. Mahie Gill doing mujra after Paro act.

Lastly, watch my space for the upcoming ‘Bloggers Awards to the Best in Hindi Cinema – 2008’

Those who have followed the lives and works of makers like Sriram Raghavan, Sudhir Mishra, Shimit Amin, Hansal Mehta, Onir, Anurag Kashyap will know that these makers have always taken risk. Few succeeded, few did not and others were labeled self-centered psychopaths (read just Anurag). Isn’t every artist/actor/director/producer? Didn’t we just see that in LBC? But Anurag has been subjected to all kinds of brickbats since he made ‘No Smoking’. I loved his ‘Black Friday’ immensely and was excited about NS like hell. I did not understand it first time. I spoke to few filmi friends, discussed and went for repeat watch. This time I liked it. I became fan of Anurag.

Dev.D unlike his NS is not a self-indulgent cinema but yes, it definitely shows the pain and anguish the man has gone through in this industry. He vents out his fury through Dev; A man in search of salvation after screwing up his love life. The movie in all departments takes Indian Cinema a few notches higher. Watch it to believe that it is nothing less than a Nolan or Fellini or Scorsese. We have our answer to west, east, middle, left, right, up, down. And the answer is Anurag Kashyap.

I usually do not go with the disclaimers. However, here I would wish to say that if you are an escapist, ignorant, and fragile then skip the movie and this review as well. Others read on.

As we all are aware by now that Dev.D is a contemporary take on Sarat’s celebrated novel Devdas. Bimal Roy (sticking to the book) and SLB (a bit twist by arranging a full fledged meeting between Paro and Chandramukhi) have given their versions. Anurag’s version in actuality is a convincing mockery of SLB’s version. There are four to five direct and countless indirect references to SLB’s version. From a Sonapur and Kolkota, the movie shifts to picturesque sarson-ke-khet of Punjab via 'London' to neon-lit Pahar Ganj in Delhi. A rich father who threw Devdas out of house in earlier spoils him rotten in this by justifying to mother, “Tumne bachpan me bigada, Mai jawaani me bigad raha hun.” The two ladies who had a cheesy confrontation of ‘Devdas loves you more’ exchange just a strange ‘Hi’ here and both proclaim ‘Dev doesn’t love anyone.’

The real protagonist of Dev.D is Amit Trivedi’s music and background score. His 18 songs aptly placed throughout recite the story. You can almost call it a musical. I have never experienced something like this before where you can almost feel that you do not need dialogues, the songs says it all. Anurag himself confessed sometime back that Amit’s music was so impressive that he changed his script to rationalize and credit Amit’s work. Welcome to new-age Bollywood. Times are changing. Those who understand and believe in lucid and rational cinema know that SLB’s Devdas was a ridiculous movie with idiocy written all over it’s frames and the essence lost in its grandeur. Chuck it. Embrace brand new Paro, Chanda and Dev.



Dev (Abhay Deol) is sent to London for studies. The only motivation for him to return is the nude pics of Paro (Mahie Gill) which she diligently scans and sends after having a steamy internet chat with Dev. ‘Dhol yaara dhol’ begins and Paro is cheerful with dreams of a good life ahead. Dev is back. His elder brother is getting married. ‘Hikknaal’ and ‘Maahi Mennu’ (the two Punjabi numbers of the lot) steps forward the story along with Dev’s and Paro’s failed attempt to sleep with each other. Misunderstanding follows and Dev insults her, tells her to stop dreaming that she can get married in his family (aukaat nahi hai teri) almost calling her a slut. Dev’s father in fact is keen on making Paro his bahu. What an irony!!! Anyways Paro’s father gets her married to much elder Bhuvan and just before her marriage Dev realizes he was at mistake and not her. But it’s too late, gulps down full bottle of Vodka, vomits and falls with a huge thud in front of the baraat. What an ‘Emosanal Attyachaar’!!!



Enter Lenny (Kalki Koechlin), a class XII student in Delhi. She is a cheerful and smiling girl who is dating a visibly very old to her boy. She does stuff to him, goes on bike rides with him, and is not apologetic about it. ‘Yahi Meri Zindagi Hai’ background score tells her story. The boy makes MMS. The girl is made fun of. The family is shattered. They leave country but the ghosts do not. Lenny gets into argument with her father when he says that he indeed has seen the clippings of her doing the stuff to boy and asserts she knew what she was doing. “How could you watch, fucking coward? I am your daughter.” Father kills himself, mother abandons her. She is left alone to be picked by a pimp and later gets into prostitution. Yahi Meri Zindagi gives way to ‘Ye Kaisi Kaisi Aankh Micholi Khele Zindagi.’ Lenny makes course for Chanda (Chandramukhi). Chunni (Dibyendu Bhattacharya) gets her client but also makes sure she finishes her education. She is taught the nuances of the profession (master-slave, phone erotica et al) in the mid of passing the board exams. ‘Paayaliya’ takes her into the new world; she has killed her ghosts. She has moved on. Dev enters her life. Dev, who by now in the guilt of losing his love is an alcohol chaser, pills popping, self-centered wreck mocks at Chanda’s show of compassion. “When in pain, it’s good to talk” she says. “What do you know about pain?” he replies. He leaves her place and goes back to his earlier histrionics. The ‘rock version of Attyachaar’ shows Dev wandering on streets, hiking between Delhi Metro and buses. When legal bars close, he ends up elsewhere. The dancing trio mocks at him, ‘Meetha Sa Chadha Hai Bukhar’ becomes his state of mind, he is ‘Pardesi’ in his own mind. He tries to find out ‘Saali Khushi’ which is lost. He calls Paro. Re-enters Paro. Content with marriage Paro to whom he desperately wants to make love to and requests to be loved back mocks at him too, “Tum kisi se pyaar nahi kar sakte. Tum sheeshe se shaadi kar lo.” What a scene it was when she makes him see the reality, “Itni mat peeya karo. Kisi se itna bhi pyaar na karo ki baaki cheeze nazar hi naa aaye.” She is clear, she doesn’t need him anymore. She shows him his aukaat, leaves him infuriated more than before. Welcome to new-age women. What a rip-off to Aishwarya’s self pity in earlier version.



He is lost again. ‘Nayan Tarse' does the same. He is having a trip. He drinks more. Chunni follows him, wants him to come back to Chanda (after all Dev is loaded). Dev gives in, back to Chanda. Chanda with her new ‘Dil Me Jaagi’ beat goes out with him; they share steaming Momos, jump into swimming pool, talks about her pain. “Half of the country downloaded the clipping, had fun out of it and they turned back and called me slut.” Dev shares his pain. Chanda agrees to Paro’s stand. “You can not love anyone.” I have moved, she has moved. You move on ending with calling him a slut. Dev leaves her again, gets into drunk-driving-killed-seven-people fiasco. His father dies. He goes to the funeral; brother ignores his presence, gives money to settle the court case. Dev doesn’t return to Delhi. ‘Duniya Gol Hai’. He blows away the money too. He is completely broke, sleeping on the road next to dog, sees a speeding car hitting the wall. The man dies. ‘Abhi bhi wakt hai’. He traces Chanda, finds her at steaming Momos joint. She takes him in. He confesses that he never loved Paro in true sense as he never saw her carefully actually and accepts he indeed is a slut. ‘Ek Hulchul Si’ marks the happy ending with duo having a bike ride.



The movie has Anurag’s style of film-making stamped all over it. The first half is radiant, full of life as we slowly gets introduced to the characters. It’s the second half that would blow your mind off. Each and every person can comprehend the happenings. The third plus after Amit’s exceptional music and Anurag’s characterization of the trio is Rajeev Rai’s photography. The movie gets dark in the second half with almost the whole second half shown in neon-lit streets and bars. The concept is by Abhay Deol which Anurag wrote along with Vikramaditya Motwane to give it a position of a formal script. Nikhat Azmi of TOI who surprisingly gave it a 5 star rating (surprising not because it doesn’t deserve but cuz Nikhat finally acknowledged good cinema) says for Abhay: Manorama-6FU and OLLO were just trailer, Dev.D is the class act from Deol. Not that the movie/Abhay needs her approval. Anurag had limited audience so far, but now the audience will multiply. Anurag has given Bollywood which is decomposing day by day a boost. And Abhay is the real star-baadhsah-king-ace or whatever those titles are called that few stars keep calling themselves with. One says 'I am King', then other replies, 'So what? I am Ace' for which third smiles mockingly at both of them. But it's Abhay for me and for many fans who find him the torch bearer of coming-of-age cinema in this country.

P.S. It is A rated but it is not porn as the belief of few goes. It’s not even soft-porn as the belief of many goes. It's a contemporary, on-your-face, blunt, straightforward and extremely engaging cinema.

P.S. 1 – I have seen it twice so far and will go for few more dekko. That’s what an excellent piece does; every time it throws up something marvelous.

The wait was over this morning. If we address the prior versions of Devdas as classics, then Dev.D is no lesser. In fact, I would call it a modern classic. I am yet to recover and put my thoughts coherently to write a detailed review. As of now, I would just say it’s an excellent cinema, with exceptional music and first class performances by all three leads. It’s a mind fuck journey with no cliché, anonymity and self indulgence. Ten on ten to this or in our terms 5 stars.

‘Paanch’ never saw the daylight. ‘Black Friday’ which is a cult classic in DVD circuit was out on DVDs long before its theatrical release. ‘Gulaal’ has been in making for 7 years now. And we all know what happened to ‘No Smoking’; the movie was brutally raped. I and many of my friends loved the movie though and have had countless mindless discussions on it. Anyways, a flop is a flop. Anurag Kashyap was given unimaginable names after No Smoking. He was jinxed as director. He was asked to stick to screenplay and dialogue writing. The man in his own words took chance with Dev.D and he made the movie that will go down in history as a classic. Take A Bow Anurag.

P.S. The review will soon follow.