The CLASSIC Weekend  

Posted by Vee

Socha nahi tha Gandhi Jayanti day would turn out be a fun day. I happened to watch two amazing movies that I am sure will be termed 'Classic' in times to come.

I wrote the review of Drona for passionforcinema.com and as their policy suggests I cannot publish it anywhere until it's published with them. They take 5-7 days to decide if it's worth being published on their site. And today it got posted there. Click Here to read/rate it at passionforcinema [dot] com OR Read below.

Drona – A Groan (a)

All I wanted to do on my day off was catch Drona and Kidnap back to back. I saw few young girls coming out laughing and giggling after the noon show of Drona. Oh, girls usually do that whenever you bring in any super-hero. But, soon few middle aged people followed and they were all smiling and giggling too. Few to themselves and others in a loud growling fashion. I was confused. I had not read any review whatsoever of it anywhere. And people’s reaction intrigued me more. This usually is the case when the movie is supremely entertaining or devastatingly horrible or its RGV Ki Aag. I used to believe there is just good or bad cinema until I saw RGV Ki Aag. Yes, RGV Ki Aag is another category in itself.

I was getting restless by now and could not wait to unravel the mystery behind the laughs and guffaws.

Movie starts with a voiceover introduction of what you are about to see (go through). It gives a short synopsis of who-the-heck Dronas of history were in form of comic strips a la Chandamama or Amar Chitra Katha (remember?)

Cut to some European country. A young boy (Aditya played by Abhishek) is having frightening dream. He complains his Aunt about it who is sleeping with her husband and beloved son. Any resemblance so far to Harry Potter, Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Dudley is purely intentional. Aunt ridicules Aditya and shoos him away. Aditya also called as Slow motion ki aulad by his foster mother is very disturbed and whiles his time by looking out of the window. Comes a flying object which is blue in color. The boy is too naïve to shout ‘UFO, UFO’ so gives a sheepish smile. The object lands on his stretched palm and voila it’s a petal.

Another scene. The most hideous scoundrel of all time Riz Raizada (Kay Kay Menon) with a Mohican-Cum-Tower-styled hair and 2 irritating puppets in tow makes his own clone and straight away kills the clone. I am still interpreting why? He wishes to get hold of the Amrit so that he can be Amar forever but not before destroying the world. And you were thinking Big Bang Theory will end the world. Sigh!!! Anyways, so this Amrit ka secret is only with Drona. Riz has killed the earlier Drona and is in a lookout for the heir.

Next scene. The morose Slow motion ki aulad is now a young man with unkempt, grumpy look and hands in pocket (always). The petal still floats around him. It’s his birthday and he goes to see the great magician Riz Raizada performing in neighborhood. One look at Aditya and Riz knows that this gloomy man is Drona. He sends his army (death-eaters) behind him. Death-Eaters? I told you, any resemblance to Harry Potter is intentional. Ok, so death-eaters chase Aditya.

Enters turban woman (Sonia played by Priyanka Chopra) who saves Aditya. He is baffled. She narrates the history, geography and biology of who-he-is and what-he-is ending the story with an orgasmic look on her face. He maintains same expression. Death-eaters reappear. This time she saves him by speeding up in a race car. Any resemblance of high-octane car chase to ‘Fast and Furious’ is intentional too. Soon the death-eaters catch the duo and each death-eater pulls out a sword. SWORD??? You got the best race car for the chase and you pull out sword to fight? Whatever happened to the guns…??? So, Sonia madam pulls out knives from every corner of her body and fights back. Abhishek (who is still baffled with happenings around) suddenly realizes he is supposed to be the man wearing pants and gets strength from nowhere and throws a big iron gate towards the villains killing them at instant. Sonia Madam is amused, smiles a Kodak moment. *Click* and that’s her second orgasmic look.

30 minutes into the movie and bingo; Drona is everything I mentioned above. It was turning out to be extremely entertaining and was giving a tough competition to RGV Ki Aag and not to forget the profound logic that went into everything so far in the movie. I eased myself in the seat beaming to myself, ‘Abhi toh shuruaat huii hai’.

Pronto, I was in for another surprise. The movie takes us to some rural India (I think it was Rajasthan) where a mother (Jaya marathi-nahi-aati Bachchan) suddenly feels some kind of air touching her that tells her in the language which now I know only she understands that her santaan has returned. She started this conversations-with-air in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and is continuing the trend. She comes out, sees her santaan from terrace and soon breaks into a song (keeping up the KKKG trend, you see). Mother B explains to Son B why she abandoned him and the entire flashback happens in form of comic strips. Mr. Director seems to be very fascinated with that idea. After mother stops the boring kahaani Riz appears and turns the mother into a statue. THANK GOD. Her mumbles were getting too much to bear.

Drona has all the secrets unraveled now. All he needs to do is find the way to get hold of ‘Horse’, ‘Sword’ and finally ‘Amrit’. The horse is described as something untamed so far which only Drona can tame. And when you see that untamed horse you will know that even Rajpal Yadav could have easily tamed it. The trail to find the sword goes through series of illogical puzzles. One moment is worth mentioning where they (Aditya and Sonia) are stuck as the clue says ‘Drona ki parchhai (shadow)’ something. They take ages to decode that. Aditya then slowly turns and says, “Tum Sonia. Tum ho meri Prachhai’. At this, Sonia Madam looks at him and gives another orgasmic moment to us. What a scene!!!

And after many such profound and thoughtful scenes/moments/dialogues, Riz is closer to getting the ‘Amrit’ after stabbing knife in Drona’s stomach. The blood falls on the barren land and follows a path and soon the barren land is blessed with greenery and day becomes night. The door to the ‘Amrit’ is visible and Riz gallops his horse towards it. Drona is still unconscious (not dead, how can he still be? think profoundly). Riz is running away and is now very close to the ‘Amrit’. Drona wakes up at that very moment, gets up with head hanging down and stands in that pose for 2 minutes. He then raises his head and voila there is a fierce in his eyes. The eye color has changed. It’s no blacker. It’s not remotely human. It’s silver, no, it’s all white, whatever but it’s scary for sure. Super-heroes aren’t supposed to flaunt that eye color Mr. Director. That’s for Zombies or vampires for your information. Riz is getting closer to ‘Amrit’. Drona is furious. He raises his right hand up in the air, makes a fist and Dhadaam. There goes the feeblest punch on the face of earth but earth gets circular waves and the waves start spreading. Waves reach the running Riz and he falls. Yes, he falls. A ripple from earth caused because of Drona’s punch make a running horse and a man on top of it fall. Wow!!! Hail to Goldie Behl. He is genius. Riz dies Drona wins. But that’s not the end.

Not shown how many years later but Drona is seen along with his now lively mother, without-turban wife and a son. Son goes to sleep and there is a look-alike of death-eater outside his room. The movie ends, you know what it means? It means our intelligent director is coming up with sequel soon. A SEQUEL??? I am off to enter a line in my will warning my offspring to stay away from anything that sounds Drona.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 08, 2008 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .

32 Pointless but Viscous Comments.

wow!!! Congrats, that is some achievement :)am so very proud of you :)

All I can say about the review is "I Agree"

A little bit of info for you (Excerpts of the interview of the director)

"And all the children of our country who have to watch crime thrillers and sex comedies because fantasies are not made in the country. No matter what the outcome of Drona is at the box office, the sequel will most certainly happen,” he said.

Commenting upon the criticism, Behl said, "As far as we're concerned we've made a film that dares to go into an unexplored genre. Critics are all the time complaining about our films being borrowed from foreign sources

"It's important for children to enjoy Drona. I'm glad Aryan enjoyed it. I made the film for children, not for those who like their cinema twisted and perverse," Behl told IANS.


Aryan here is SRK's son...here is the link...

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/drona-director-to-dedicate-its-sequel-to-srks-son/75308-8.html


I just wish that if this guys has pits of money to blow off then why doesn't he give it to needy people...sigh!!! Such is life ;)

Me too proud of you Oxy boy. and that was indeed a very good review. Please post more of your reviews there and become a member of Passionforcinema soon. Considering that you watch different genre of movies, you would be in a position to contribute more. But being a regular reader of PFC, I havnt seen your comments even once. Do you comment in any other name??

ooohhh...congrats oxy...
badhiya hai...

loved the way you've written the review...absolutely loved it. i laughed out loud so many times.
actually na, i was planning on seeing it and a friend ne srictly manaa kar diya.

kya kare..yaar. i love kay kay no...so i will watch it anyway
:-)

wow..bade bhaiya...aapne bataya hi nai ..ki aap ne itna vada kaam ker ditta ji..!

i am so happy for you ..*HUGS*..
trust me i will not watch DRONA..
the promos have tortured me enough.

The silver color in eyes is the reflection of the light at the horizon emitted by the amrit pot.

LOL :D Good commentary and incidentally I too have done a similar post :)

Buddy...
congrats first of all...
when time permits i frequent passionforcinemas...

your review is one of the best, if not the BEST, i have gone recently...
got a unique style of writing, different from those typical traditional way of criticizing the movie...

it was very much entertaining..!!keep on writing...

:)

Smita: Thanks. And I am appalled at what Behl had to say. Guts hai bunde me.. I pity Aryan. The young boy doesn't understand this now. But when he grows up he will be ashamed to know this.

Vimmuuu: Thanks boy. I shall be sending few more. It's up to them to publish (or not).

No, I never commented. I have been reading the articles on PFC for more than a year now but I never actually commented. I have started doing so now.

Preeti: Thanks. Oh, you should not miss it at any cost. And your love Kay Kay is just awesome. He has come a long way from Hazaaro Khwahishen Aisi days.

V: Shukriya chhote nawaab. Par ye kya. U will not watch? Please do watch. It's a classic movie in its own way.

Reema: Whoa!!! and I thought color of eye depends upon the pigment in iris. Wow!!! Tumne to meri 'aankhe' khol di.

I shall read that soon dear. Very soon.

Vinz: Thanks buddy. You flatter me there. :)

hmph...! wo bohot achcha hai theek hai na... bas thoda sa make-up malfunction ho gaya but the inner remains the same despite all make up...samjha...

no i will not..hehe
i don't want to torture my brain

Whoa!!! and by 'inner' you mean? spill it out ... everything,...:)

Oh V You should. Arrey yaar, trust me nothing will happen to ur brain.. It's freaking so bad that it's awesome. U will end up laughing throughout.

And So do I Chhote Nawab.

[V takes out his gassing pump and takes oxy out.DRags him across the blog and handcuff's him to the address bar]

see i told u i insist ! ;D

And Oxy hits V in his groin and that's it. V can't do much after this. I said I insist.

[enter "gadadhari bheem" he smacks oxy and splatters him on the computer screen]

meanwhile V recovers and takes out a mini nuke ..plants it here and escapes in his escape vehicle..kaboom...all is gone there's nothing left of Oxy now to insist. haw haw haw

:D

Ah now from where did this 'Bheem' appear? Ok, So u going fantasy way then I will go too..

V did not know that Bheema was actually Drona (friend of Oxy) in disguise. And that was just a fake splatter to mislead V so that V gets on the escape vehicle. Drona brings his 'untamed' horse and gallops like never before and chases V. Drona throws his sword at running V and kills him at instant and says 'How dare you not listen to Oxy and watch a movie made completely on me'?

@ V bows down...outsmarted completely :D BiG B proves he is Big ..lol

Hee Haw Hee Haw.. So now Listen to Big B and watch Drona.

One of the most engrossing reviews I have read. :) Lovely!!!
And I have heard such bad things about the movie in the past few days. I had great hopes from it.

Thanks Amit. Yes, the movie is receiving flak from all corners but wait till u read this:

http://www.times.co.nz/cms/arts/film/2008/10/drona.php

Congrats on PFC .. Even trash like Drona does serve some purpose,eh? :)If you are classifying it with RGV ki Aag, it must be really lousy

Avionic: Oh yes Drona does serve purpose.. .It's a classic after all.. Hehe.. Thanks.

:D..Groana Groana ...Grown aa?

Ayushi: Yes, Yes... Oh Yes!!!

yahan se kayanaat tak, jab koi bachcha nahi sota to maa kehti hai.. beta so ja varna cable par Drona dikha rahe hain.

lol wah wah wah again :-)
awesome review and congrats on the PFC thing!
so the next time girls smile you know wat it means ;-)

WIAN: Its actually other way round. Some girl smiled that smile and I saw Priyanka doing the same so I knew what it meant.. :)

Oxy boy, booohoooooo...I watched it. I actually watched the terror!!! Some movies are created to be watched in pirated DVDs and this is one of them Inspite of all the reviews, I still wanted to catch it up in a theatre. Fortunately, none of the theatres here show Drona.

Can anyone tell me which superhero or any normal human being would wear such a stupid, confusing constume??? Even a dupatta? They could have given him a dhoti as well. Gawd, that Bloody Behl !!!!!!!

Vimmuuu: You have a very long life my boy!!! I just replied to your mail and came to check blog and saw your comment.

Haha, so u did watch. Isn't it classic in 'that way'?

U want to know which Superhero wears all that u said.. It's DRONA Hahaha. You see, he is unique man. A one of his kind.

And just now I finished writing the review of another classic KARZZ. Yes, saw it this morning.. Sent it to PFC, Let's see if they publish it or not..

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