I became single all over again, thanks to me and thanks to the stars shining down. So, now please do not come to conclusion and start hurting my self-less inner something by saying “Huh, so what if he wrote on Impressing fairer sex”.

So, I was saying I am single all over again and I am on a hunt. And my hormones are driving me up the wall and ceiling, everything unworthy of climbing upon. And needless to say, I have been ruthless in my quest so far. They say it is easy to impress a man than to the fairer sex, I beg to differ. They say all men need is an opening and all women need is a huge long list with TDH factor on top of the list plus clean-shaven, witty, humorous, should love her dog & bitches and her folks (the order depends on her) and blah blah. I beg to differ once again. Few of us are looking for more than an opening

So, now I am going to say what went wrong this time. She was so gloomy that even cheerful Sunday afternoon got depressing within 3 minutes of her silent presence (absence for me). As if I care much, but something as sexy as her was glum worried me. What about the evening and night after the gloomy noon lemonade my inner something said. So, I took her hand which was toying the front hair and tried to be unadulterated in sounding what-happened-to-my-lovey-dovey-baby. I succeeded nonetheless. What I got to know was that her ex from whom she had separated some 3 months back had sanctimoniously mentioned to her 3 months back while breaking up that his obvious interest in her was nothing more than a physical draw. I promptly withdrew my hand from her and folded it between my legs underneath table. That helped. And at the same time appreciated her ex’s interest. The guy had taste like me. And the next thing which popped up in my mind was why something which happened 3 months back is spoiling her mood which now by that time had assured me would definitely spoil the eventful evening and night.

She was witty and nice and that is why I was seeing her. I find it absurd that a woman can actually have this sight of how sexy she is and held that against her. I found it even more absurd when during the night while lounging in a night club, two healthy heterosexual people sitting over nicely made alcoholic concoction, in a favorable environment of a dark corner had something else in their minds. Me: why is she thinking of what that ex jerk said something which was actually true and she: still pondering over did he mean that? Guffaw. The very idea of going out for a drink opens exciting possibilities for me. Will she be coy? Will she be a bashful repartee to my overtures? Or will she let her loose so that I can take a good care of her? Will she mind my ogling which gets piercing potential couple of drinks down? But there was nothing of that sort happening. Now how much can you give in yourself without getting anything out of it. I still maintain I am self-less but this self-less, excuse me. Get hold of someone else then.

So, in that moment of bizarre histrionics I said the same her ex had once supposedly said. I said the same. All hell broke loose. And I surprised myself by saying if she wants to get out of it she can (my inner something scolded me one last time), but that was that. All I remember next was she walked out on me but that is not to be remembered as her walk itself was one to die for, it was that VBS thing which flashed like a lightening to my drunken eyes. Whoa!!!

Was that intentional? Till that time I had not noticed that thing coming out. For that matter I had not noticed VBS in our history of 7 dates so far. Anyways how does that matter now. That moment I saw that VBS and I was for the first time happy. VBS can be a big put off for us, u bet me. For uninitiated, Visual Bra Strip (VBS) is fashionable, but then please make an effort in choosing a bra color. Do we men or any of your more sensible women friends have to point out that a dark colored bra under light colored clothing is a crime?

Not that I dropped her for this faux pas or something like that, she chose to. And I happily respect that now. Thank you, nice to meet you. I value my sanity too much to be with you. And there is good in the world. Go smell some flowers, get spiritual but do not come back to me and for heaven’s sake do not talk of me to your next beau.

I wonder why? Why women talk of her past to their present? So I am done with it but I am still hunting. Now all I am waiting for is a real her? Will the real she please stand up or lie down? I am already.