I love to kiss people who uses abuses in harmless way. They get pat from me every time I get to hear them muttering it. What the eff wrong in that? I recently had an attack of that and incessantly used abuses after which I realized I indeed felt better.

And I used it last night. Once again incessantly, till I was begged to be shut up. I in normal situations do not overuse it except occasional effs and bees to pals who are comfortable hearing that. However, last night was that rare occasion which any rational person would not wish to be in unless you are ‘Rakhi Sawat’ or a male version of her.

Read to know what transpired:

Wednesdays are as good as any weekend in my pub city. There I was ready to break the floor with my jumps and thumps with my regular pub friends. Trust me, you should have few friends whom you meet just in pubs and should be cut off from your daily life. I entered, surveyed the area trying to locate my pub friends. Upon finding one, I marched cutting my way through a group of young-and-loud hippies (or junkies), each one trying to outdo other and in the process I believed no one listened to any. Anyways, I crossed them, met my friend (call him Ridgeet) and soon we headed to the bar counter. Couple of shots later with pint in hand we pronounced our arrival on the dance floor and made known our presence by shouting out to other pub friends whom we had located there on floor. Hugs and Shake hands followed. Ours was the biggest group there occupying almost quarter of the floor. And then I saw him. And he saw me too almost at the same time. Let’s call him Tripsi as he is always either tripped or in progression of that.

“Hey Boy”, he came howling near me. “He said that her ex told him that her colleague’s current boyfriend told her about how a common friend to all is now officially broken up second time with same girl.” A long winded relational theory more complex than the relativity theory of the last century, landed upon my head in the middle of an unsuspected meet with this Tripsi guy. I said, “What”? And within seconds of realizing the Tripsi might say it all over again I said, “Oh, is it? When did this happen”? (Not knowing how else to respond to this myriad mysterious break up to my retaining-information-selectively brain). I was meeting Tripsi after almost six months and this is what he had to acquaint me with. But I wasn’t much amused as meeting Tripsi is like getting acquainted with such myriad stuff and sometimes some intimate doings of some random people whom you know only by name which presumably Tripsi boy never registers despite making him aware of the fact that “No, I do not know that person”. “Of course, you know”, he always replies. So, I wasn’t gonna repeat that. So, I acted as if I knew all those people whom he mentioned in his story. So, he continued, “So, what you think of it”? This was enough to rake up my anger and all those abuses in my mind started fighting with each other to beat the other in hope of coming out first from my mouth.

“Tripsi, I do not know any of them” (One last time I was going to say this) “that I really do not them at all, that I do not care who they are”. “Of course you know them all… Anyway, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know them… because they know all about you. I talk to them about you all the time.” Tripsi replied.

I suddenly felt unclothed and unprotected at the idea that there are people who know me, who know of me, who hear of me from certain people with the same feeling in their mind as of me that they just know me by name. I wondered if this people in turn talk to somebody else about me. I also wondered how I can be of interest to anyone. I also wondered what they talk about when I am not there. Have you ever wondered? What would people be saying when they do not know you too well and sometimes not at all.

With these questions in mind added with the already gobbled down 3 pints of beer and not to forget the earlier two shots at counter I could not stand Tripsi’s crap and I used abuses once again within a week’s time and after which I realized I indeed felt better.